TOP 10 BEST SKIFF SNACKS, by Dallas Thomas
We’ve all been there…standing on the casting platform, fighting the glare from the sun while staring through the tea stained water of the marsh when suddenly, the cravings hit. Your stomach rumbles, but you’re miles from the nearest Taco Bell.
But alas, you’ve come prepared today because you’ve taken the time to read this well thought out, scientifically proven list of the top 10 best skiff snacks.
Long and hard I thought about the things I enjoy most in life and the cravings I endure the most when either poling a skiff or straining my eyes in search for that one elusive fish for the day.
10. Sour Patch Kids – Saltwater requires sweet snacks. At first they’re sour, but then they’re sweet, just like fishing for redfish. As a bonus, it pairs extremely well with whiskey.
9. Spicy Cheddar Nabs – Because you always need more carbs for the skiff. Even if you forgot your PB&J sammy or the box of Honey Buns from Sam’s Club, you can always count on a pack of nabs to get you by in a pinch. Side note, DO NOT leave in the hatches for a prolonged period. They’ll begin to taste like plastic, cardboard, or the sock that you left under your bed when you were twelve.
8. Peppered Salami and Fancy Cheese on Hawaiian Rolls – This goes back to the good ole days of floating down the Colorado River searching for the infamous Bobby Brown Trout. The key to these wonders of the world, is to use the dullest knife possible so that you can fully enjoy the entire journey of the culinary process.
7. Honey Bun – DUH. For proper cooking technique, place on the deck of your skiff on a hot, sunny day to create the perfect combination of ooey gooey goodness.
6. PBJ Sammy – This magical treat is just like a good bottle of wine; it gets better with time. If you forgot lunch one day, just check around the boat bag or skiff and find that secret treat that was left from last week to satisfy all your childish cravings. Only extra crunchy peanut butter is to be used. Treat creamy peanut butter just as you would a banana.
5. 3 hour old Bo-Berry Biscuit from Bojangles – Of course you got a bag of chicken biscuits from breakfast and those warlocks that work at Bojangles cast a spell on you to order six extra Bo-Berry Biscuits for $3. You slam one on the way to the ramp and throw the rest on top of the cooler and let marinate for three hours. This creates the perfect crust to crumble all in your rugged, manly beard and leave you with sweet treats to find the rest of the day.
4. Peanut Butter M&M’s – Not only are they delicious, but they are the perfect sacrifice to the fish god’s when you’re riding the struggle bus through the marsh. Keep in mind, please don’t sacrifice the whole bag because that is pure madness to waste such goodness.
3. Modelo with Lime – Skiffs run on fuel, fishermen run on beer. Say thanks to a buddy for an epic day with proper hydration.
2. Mountain Dew – Because Zeus himself created this. END OF STORY
1. Swiss Rolls – When chilled to the optimum temperature of "cold as cooler", this number one treat serves as a celebration snack only. Imagine… you just landed the biggest redfish of your life but you’re on the Keto diet, what better way to celebrate than to break that nonsense health trend and eat a Swiss Roll of the floor of a skiff covered in fish slime. Friends don’t let friends fish without Swiss Rolls. *editor’s note: pairs best with number 2 on the list.
Bonus gratuitous imagery of anglers eating swiss rolls on a skiff.
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